Home

It is nearly midnight, and this time yesterday I was already asleep. I sometimes (okay, maybe quite a lot of the time) sleep early, WAY too early for someone my age. My mum called me once, I picked it up and she could hear that I was asleep already, and she told me that my sister wasn't even asleep yet (she's 8 years younger than me). I also sleep with the lights on, so you can call me a sleepyhead really, what kind of student sleeps at 9 pm with the lights on. The thing about sleeping early is, I would wake up really early as well. Like this morning, I woke up at 4.30 am and couldn't go back to sleep. This has an effect later on during the day, I felt sleepy in the afternoon, so I had a (very long) nap and hence why I'm not sleepy now. I wish I was sleepy though because I actually have to get up early tomorrow morning *sigh*.

Anyway, I'll be going to Bristol in a few days (yay!) and I cannot wait (I think you can tell as I've mentioned it just in yesterday's post). Here's the thing though, I like living away in Sheffield, but I do miss my family a lot. People always ask why didn't I go to Bristol uni, and the reason is simple: they rejected me. At first I was disappointed, but I've got to be honest, I was excited to venture out by myself in Sheffield. At the end I was actually kind of grateful that I didn't get accepted in Bristol uni. Don't take me wrong, I love my family and I'm very close with them. But I've learnt so much from living away from my family and it forces me to grow up. Not to mention the freedom *smirk* (don't worry mum, dad, I'm not that much of a rebel, I think). 

I wasn't one who thought of moving out by the time I was 18 though. I've always thought I would live with my parents until I'm 20something. Well firstly, when I was in Indonesia I thought I'd go to the university in Bandung (where I used to live) so that I wouldn't have to live away from my family. When I moved to UK, I honestly thought I was just going to go to Bristol uni and again, live with my family during university time. When my friends at high school were telling me they were gonna move out when they're 18, I just thought they were brave. I never thought that I'd be the one who move out when I was 18, sign flat contracts, do grocery shopping for myself every week, budget my spending, etc. My family wanted me to stay close of course, but I didn't have much choice, I had to go to Sheffield. I'm glad I've experienced what I experienced. My parents used to be quite strict with me, they still kinda are, but they're not as fussed and worried like they used to be. 

As much as I love living away, I do miss my family a lot. It makes me appreciate more of the time I have with them during holidays. I honestly don't know how the international students who only see their parents once a year do it, I don't think I can, not at the moment. When I am at Sheffield, I feel a bit of pressure, like I have to be responsible and think like a grown up (think and act are different, I still act like a kid a lot of the times). When I am home, I feel like the pressure is lifted, I have a feeling of safety, like whatever happens my family is right there with me, not hundreds of miles away. That's why I am getting excited day by day just to go home, because I miss the warmth of being around my family.