Being a Minority

Two days ago, as I walked home from my hike to Mont Jalla, I walked past this sign with a quote from Kofi Annan: "People of different religions and cultures live side by side in almost every part of the world, and most of us have overlapping identities which unite us with very different groups. We can love what we are, without hating what - and who - we are not. We can thrive in our own tradition, even as we learn from others, and come to respect their teachings."

I thought it was clear, simple, and very accurate. Having lived as a minority for the past 12 years, I have grown to learn to respect other culture, tradition, characteristics of people from different parts of the world. Don't get me wrong, I still get shocked sometimes when, for example, people are not as polite as I think they should be, but I try to remind myself that maybe that is how it is in their respective countries. Maybe to some other people, I'm not as polite as they think I should be. 

There are positives and negatives of being a minority, of course, just like everything else in life. One of the positives I would say is that I stand out. It could be a good or bad thing of course, but I'd like to think that it's a good thing most of the time. For example, when I was an intern in an engineering company in the UK (which bear in mind most of the employees were men, so there I was a minority within the minorities), someone I didn't know suddenly stopped me in the office and said that she saw me last Saturday in the Park Run event. I thought wow, either she had a really good memory of faces or I stood out. As I remembered it, there was nobody else wearing a headscarf in the Park Run and in the whole building of the office I was one of only 2 girls wearing a headscarf, so there you go. I have also noticed that people would remember me and my name more compare to others at events and activities. So it's great having people remember me, but at the same time I better not do stupid things because people will remember that it's me!

Where there is good, there is always the bad, and unfortunately there will always be people saying or doing stupid things for no apparent reasons. I have had people shout at me from their cars while I was walking, or thrown drink cans at me while I was cycling. There are times in high school that wasn't great, but it seems that there are always bullies in any high school anyway. But somehow all those things gave me a thicker skin, I tend not to care anymore when people stare, or shout, or whatever. There are always more nice people than mean ones anyway, paying more attention to the mean ones would just make me feel down so why would I do that?

Adapting to new cultures is not always easy, especially when it kind of clashes with your own. I've tried my best to experience the new cultures without overstepping. Unfortunately there are times where I just have to say no to whatever I might be invited to, just because I know I won't be comfortable in doing it. And that's okay. I believe that good friends would accept you and find things in common with you, that they'll put the effort in doing things that you are comfortable in doing as well. There is no point in you trying to do all the things you're not comfortable in doing just because you're scared of missing out, or because you want to be accepted. I don't think that's the definition of adapting.

Like Kofi Annan said in his quote above, we can learn from others and respect their teachings. Being a minority and being exposed to different cultures challenged me to question some of my own cultures. Part of who I am today is because of what I've learned these past 12 years, and the other part is because of how I was brought up. It puts me in a strange position, sometimes it makes me feel like I can't belong just in one place. I feel that there is always something different in a place that would make me feel like maybe I shouldn't be there. But maybe that's what life is supposed to be like. Maybe you're not supposed to feel fully comfortable, maybe that's how life is pushing you to always learn, to think about where you stand, how to become a better person and how to make changes to create something better. If everyone was comfortable where they are, if they see nothing wrong, if everyone was the same, then nothing would change for the better. As Koffi Annan said, people of different religions and cultures live side by side in almost every part of the world, and I believe that is how it should be.